The [still] growing Lydick Family

Camping before Christmas.

2011-12-30T01:15:00.001-06:00

Most recent photo.

2011-12-28T10:58:00.000-06:00

She looks so much older! Ughh!

Waiting & Kolfe

2011-12-28T09:11:00.000-06:00

We are still waiting for our file to be submitted to the US Embassy. Once that occurs (hopefully this week), the Embassy will give us one of three responses in a few weeks (let's pray for #1):
1) Looks good! Come bring your daughter home in two to three weeks.
2) We have some questions about this and that, please resubmit after you find the answers, if you don't know the answers, then we will forward your case to our office in Nairobi to review. This could delay your homecoming for weeks or months.
3) We are going to forward your case to Nairobi and then possibly to Rome. Be prepared to wait several months.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emily recently wrote an article about our experience with the Kolfe Orphanage in Ethiopia.

We adopted our first daughter in January of 2008. On that trip we fell in love with our daughter, the country of Ethiopia and the boys of Kolfe. During our visit, we followed Gladney’s itinerary and visited several attractions along with three government orphanages. Little did we know the impact the orphanages would have on us. You may think you are prepared, but until you actually have a chance to see things with your own eyes, do the impressions take hold. It was a very emotional trip, ranging from pure joy to heartbreaking sorrow—the type that stays with you and makes you want to be a better person.

We had heard of Kolfe, a government-run orphanage, from other people’s blogs and the conditions in which the boys lived. At that time, it was the home of approximately 150 boys, aged 8-18. Each boy had their own cot and blanket, but little else. Some of the older boys had a trunk with a few possessions that they kept under their cot.

We were immediately welcomed by the Kolfe boys when we arrived to their orphanage four years ago. They were eager to show us where they slept, their school work, and a tour of their home. I normally associate the word `home’ with a cozy house, loving parents with endless hugs and kisses, warm meals cooking in the oven . . . Their home consists of bunkers with rows of cots, and they do not have open arms of parents waiting to hear about each day’s trials and successes or cookies cooking in an oven after school. What their home does have is an incredible supportive brotherhood. The boys of Kolfe are some of the kindest, most wonderful young men we have ever met. Despite not having material belongings, they have a strong support system among each other.

The boys’ genuineness made such an impact on us that we wanted to do something for them, but we did not know what. Hearing that the boys rarely have a chance to eat meat, we decided to buy a few goats for a dinner the next night. Our dinner turned into a feast and quite a treat for the boys. The boys enjoyed Cokes, injera with the stewed goat, and bananas. The word “grateful” does not adequately describe the boys’ response. By the end of our trip when we had to say goodbye, we had gotten so attached to the boys that I sobbed. I was sad because I did not know if we would see them again. I was sad because many of the boys thought I could come back despite me telling them we didn’t know if we could. I was sad to leave them at the orphanage and to feel like I wasn’t able to help them.

We are now adopting our second daughter, who we hope to bring home soon. When we got our court date, the first thing we wanted to do (after meeting our daughter), was visit Kolfe orphanage again. On this trip, we decided to bring our oldest two sons, aged 9 and 7. We especially wanted to introduce them to the boys of Kolfe. Having been to Addis Ababa before, we immediately became the unofficial tour guides for the other adoptive parents who were in Ethiopia at the same time for their court dates. We shared our past experience with the Kolfe boys with three other families and our desire to throw them another feast. They decided to follow us to see what was so special about these Kolfe boys.

Our first night, we took the other families to visit Kolfe. I think they were like us when we went to the orphanage the first time—uncertain of what we would find at the orphanage and surprised by the genuine warmness of the boys. They were also surprised by the boys’ surroundings of the orphanage; however, the boys would never let on to the fact that the only thing they have is each other. Our first revelation was bittersweet. We were surprised to recognize so many of the boys we had met four years earlier. I don’t know why, but it never occurred to us that we would see so many boys that we had met before. I guess we had hoped they had found adoptive families or miraculously found a better life. We were met with huge embraces from several them, and they even remembered our names. A few even went and retrieved pictures of us they had saved that we had taken and given to them on our previous trip. Our second revelation was how many more boys there were living at the orphanage now. There are approximately 250 boys now.

We had explained to our two sons that Ethiopians are very affectionate with each other, and that the boys of Kolfe would be no different. Several of the boys embraced our sons, thrilled to meet the sons of Scott and Emily. We immediately went to their soccer field to begin a friendly game of soccer, or as they say, football.

It was on the soccer field that the biggest impact of the whole trip occurred. I already knew the boys only had each other, but I had never really thought about how they really did not have anyone else. Our seven year old, Bryce, got hurt on the field and immediately looked up to Scott and I on the sidelines and ran to us for comfort. With tears in his eyes, he just wanted a hug to know that everything was alright. The play temporarily stopped as several of the boys rushed to his side to hug on him and rub his back in comfort. It was then that I realized that this is what they do. They comfort themselves in times of hurt. They comfort each other in times of pain. They comfort themselves because they have no one else. I had to choke back my tears because I did not want to have to explain that I was crying for them, not my own son, who was fine.

With a combination of the three other traveling families and friends from home, we held another feast this year, only much larger, seeing that there were so many more boys. This time an ox was required instead of the small goats. The boys sang and danced for us, showing their gratitude. The feast was wonderful and very meaningful for the boys, but we would like to make an impact that lasts longer than a full tummy.

The boys understand the importance of education and are very proud of going to school. Unfortunately, the opportunities are few, especially if lacking any higher education. We have donated the last couple of years to help out through Gladney’s scholarship and tutoring program, and we wish we could do more. The boys of Kolfe deserve so much more than what they have. They have impacted our lives in a way that is unimaginable to those that have not met these awesome young men. If you ever find yourself in Ethiopia, a visit to the Kolfe orphanage will do more than change your life. It will alter your view of humanity forever. If you would like to find out more about what you can do to support Gladney’s efforts in helping these young men at Kolfe and children at other orphanages in Ethiopia, please go to www.ontheirown.org/make-an-impact/africa. We hope, along with Gladney, that these young men will have a brighter future with your support.

Challenging the authority of the big brother

2011-12-19T09:06:00.002-06:00

The remaining step.

2011-12-17T12:22:00.001-06:00

This family traveled with us in Ethiopia. He is a much more descriptive writer than I am. This is his latest post on our remaining step to bring Kidist home.

http://allsmileatonce.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/what-remains-to-keep-our-daughter-from-coming-home/

Introducing Kidist Olivia Lydick!

2011-12-17T12:20:00.001-06:00

Last day

2011-12-01T02:47:00.000-06:00

Because of Emily, Oscar and Bryce's school, we basically compressed the normal 7 day trip into 4. Oscar and Bryce did fantastic but after the prior days we needed a bit of a light day for our last one.

Well, light with the exception of the whole court thing... We had court today, where were went to the govt office to appear in front of the judge as a condition to adopt our daughter. The judge 1) emphasized the importance of us learning Ethiopian culture (check), 2) made sure we had support from our family (check), 3) made sure we fully informed our kids of the adoption (ha.. check), 4) made sure we realized that once we confirmed with her of our intention to adopt that our daughter would be legally our child under Ethiopian law (check) After getting through those, she announced that our daughter is ours. Wow. Emotional.

Now we have to go home until the US embassy reviews the case and issues our daughter a visa to come home. Hopefully this will be painless and quick. Best case is likely one month before we return to bring her home. We wont focus on the alternative cases unless we get there.

Orphanage visit and thoughts on Kolfe

2011-12-01T02:37:00.000-06:00

Tuesday:

Kebebetsahay Orphanage: This is a govt run orphanage that we visited 3 years ago as well. I would guess that the age range is newborn to about 3 years old. On our last trip this was probably the toughest hour that we spent in Ethiopia as it was merely a large 50 x 100 ft building filled will cribs. In each crib there were 2-3 children and the room was earily silent. The 4-6 caregivers on staff would keep up the best they could for feeding and changing but the ratios did not allow for them to get ahead. Fortunately, there have been some large donations primarily by a Spanish city (can't remember the name) to build a new building last year. While the ratios (caregiver to child) are still poor, The conditions were markedly improved. Photographs were not allowed this time and there were still moments that tore at our hearts. This will be where the majority of the formula that we brought over ultimately lands. A recommendation for those visiting: pick up some green coffee beans at a roadside vendor 120-150 birr / kilo to give to the caregivers. They were so appreciative of the gift of a kilo of coffee that they invited us for a cup. Their coffee time is the one break they get from the very difficult work they do.

Kolfe Feast: we arrived at Kolfe at about 4 pm. The boys and I played soccer for about 2 hours off and on with the Kolfe boys. The best players were incredibly humble in showing off their skills but never shooting on goal, rather they would always pass to our sons or the younger Kolfe kids to even the play. About a 1/4 of the boys were playing barefoot or in sandals and expertly sliding on the dirt pitch. When it was dark, they shuffled us and the other Gladney families to one of the buildings. They had set up an area with music and chairs lined up. I think there were about 150 of us in the room all crammed in sitting on top of each other. It was wonderful. They presented us with cheers, coffee, popcorn, and oranges. They thanked us for the feast and we prepared for the meal. It was difficult to get served first but to decline would have been rude I think. I also believe that they had a separate pot for us perhaps filled with the prime cuts. Humbling.... After we were served the boys all lined up and filled their tummies. After the meal we gathered back in the room for dancing and more celebration. Naturally, they required all of us to dance in front of the group. Fun times. The dancing and singing climaxed about an hour later with the boys doing different chants from two different circles. A bit hard to explain, but we asked our driver, and he said it is common for wedding celebrations to do the chants and such. We were exhausted and ultimately headed back towards the guest house. P.s. for those visiting, coffee beans for the Kolfe cooks....

Further thoughts on Kolfe:

While the feast was fantastic, unfortunately it is kind of a "drop shipment" of aid that likely will have more impact on us than it will for them unless we use it as a way to continue to support the Kolfe boys in a more meaningful way. I know many families (Gladney and otherwise) have helped to sponsor children for Kolfe with education or direct adoption. In talking with the Gladney folks, it is very difficult to logistically sponsor individual boys. I.e. you bond with a boy, and want to help fund that specific boy's education. Take that scenario and multiply it by 50 people wanting to sponsor: On the surface it sounds good. However, the more outgoing boys tend to get several sponsors and the quiet ones get left in the shadows. This is why Gladney has centralized the approach for families to donate specifically to the Ethiopian scholarship program and let their local Ethiopian staff figure out how to best distribute the aid.

Today

2011-11-29T12:15:00.000-06:00

I will write a bigger report tomorrow. We are pretty exhausted.

Another great hour with our new daughter. An amazing experience with the Kolfe boys. The feast was unbelievable. The boys threw us a celebration to start the night with coffee, popcorn, music and dancing. They honored our gift but in reality we were giving a gift of an amazing experience. The last time they had a feast like this was about 11 months ago.

More later..... Bed time.

Sent from my iPad

Almost done

2011-11-29T12:11:00.001-06:00

Cultural dinner

2011-11-29T11:42:00.000-06:00

Last night we went to a cultural dinner place that had traditional music and dancing. It is set up mainly for tourists as we were not the minority in the place. But it was fun. This country hits your senses all over the place with sights, smells, tastes, emotions.

Onions for the feast

2011-11-28T23:50:00.000-06:00

Futball with the Kolfe boys

2011-11-28T23:47:00.000-06:00

Before the feast

2011-11-28T23:45:00.000-06:00

Since Kolfe has about 300 boys now instead of 150, we decided to feed them with an ox instead of sheep. This is the before picture. Thanks again to all that contributed. I have an after picture that I will not post if you are curious. But when we killed the ox, the boys cheered as they anticipated their tummies filling up soon. We eat this evening with all of them. Really looking forward to it.

Wireless Internet engage!!

2011-11-28T07:09:00.001-06:00

Thanks to the adapter that let me pull pics from a memory card to an iPad and a hotel down the street with wireless Internet we are live with photos!!!

Great day. We met our daughter today. She is a complete ham! She is a complete chatterbox and Definately loves the attention and spotlight by any and all. We spent an hour with her today and I would guess that she spent the better of 40 minutes complete attached to Oscar. She made him take his sweatshirt off and let her wear it in the first five minutes! I wish I could post some pictures but it is not allowed. So you all will just have to wait a little bit longer. It will be so difficult to leave her here but for now she is in a great house with caregivers that absolutely love her.

After our brief visit, we arranged for the feast. Apparently there are now 300 boys at Kolfe (vs 150 3 years ago). So we will feed those tummy's tomorrow with an ox, sheep, injera, veggies, bananas and sodas. Tonight we go over to kill and butcher the animals in preparation. The Kolfe mommas will likely be cooking most of the day tomorrow to prepare. The rest of the Gladney gang are going to join us for the preparation tonight then we will go to a traditional Ethiopia restaurant that showcases dancing and music from all the regions of the country. It will be fun but exhausting. Thanks again to all that helped purchase the feast. They boys get one of these about once a year if they are lucky.

Today we also visited a handmade silk factory. Very cool. Going to sleep well tonight!!

Scott.

Sent from my iPad

So many things to wash. No machine!

2011-11-28T06:55:00.001-06:00

Potty training en masse!

2011-11-28T06:54:00.001-06:00

Cement donkeys

2011-11-28T06:53:00.001-06:00

Jet lag!

2011-11-28T06:51:00.001-06:00

Traditional coffee station

2011-11-28T06:50:00.001-06:00

Palace from the 1800s

2011-11-28T06:47:00.001-06:00

Addis Ababa is quite different than the stereotype for geography in north Africa

2011-11-28T06:46:00.001-06:00

Scaffolding

2011-11-28T06:45:00.001-06:00

Ethiopia's version on scaffolding

2011-11-28T06:44:00.001-06:00

Repacking aid at our guest house.

2011-11-28T06:43:00.001-06:00

All is well

2011-11-27T04:33:00.001-06:00

We had a nice day so far visiting an old church and old palace (1800's) on Entoto mountain. You can view they entire city from the top of the mountain on a clear day. Today wasn't very clear but still a great view. Last time we came the city really cleared up on Sunday b/c most of the commerce was down from church. It seems a bit worse this trip but perhaps it is just the wind.

Oscar and Bryce are a bit on sensory overload and are hopefully napping right now with Emily at the guest house. We had a wonderful traditional Ethiopian lunch. A lady was preparing for afternoon coffee. Roasting green coffee beans, grinding them, brewing fresh espresso. Our lunch began with a handwashing, we ate lamb, dried beef and lentils (shiro). The lentils were a huge favorite with the boys.

We have had to coach the boys a bit on how touchy the culture is with kids. All the adults that we talk to (guides, housekeepers) give the boys huge hugs and spill over with love towards children. Men/Women both share the same kind of sheer joy for children. In all the attachment books and such that we have read, I can only imagine that this cultural detail gives even orphaned children a huge boost in the first few years of their life no matter what the conditions are.

The Addis Flower (new flower) Guest House is wonderful and I am very happy we went this route rather than the Hilton. It makes the experience more genuine and we will be meeting some need friends that are also in the process of adopting.

Coffee with Belay this afternoon to plan out the week. I think we will do the Kolfe feast on Tuesday. There are about 300 boys that we will be buying a feast for (meat, banannas, coke, injera).

Tomorrow will also be a big day as we will meet our little one for the first time. Very exciting.

All for now.

-Scott

AHH MAH SAY GANALLOW = Thank you.

ARRIVED!

2011-11-26T22:40:00.001-06:00

Hello all

We made it safe and sound. All is well. The flights were fine with no issues. Bryce did get sick on the frst on and flled up about 3 bags but had no issues on the second flight from Frankfurt to Addis. I highly doubt that I will be able to post pictures while we are here as I did not bring the laptop but I looks like we will be able to update.

We made t throught customs without any problems at all. All 10 packed bags (9 of which were humanitarian aid) are all safely with us. Customs briefly asked me what was in the bags, "clothes, diapers, formula and nothing to officially declare". He said ok. Thank you for all the prayers.

Oscar got sick last night in bed. I think he was so tred that he didn't realize it until after. So hopefully emily and I hold out from getting sick. Should be a rather easy day today with no certain schedule. Will update when we can.

Scott

Ready to go

2011-11-25T15:01:00.001-06:00

Truck packed

2011-11-25T13:42:00.001-06:00

Off to the airport!

Packing!

2011-11-24T18:17:00.001-06:00

It's hard work sorting and packing stuff!!!

Almost done!

9 bags of humanitarian aid. 1 bag for us. Packed almost all the stuff that we collected. We ran out of weight and hard bags to get everything, but we will be going back next year so no worries. I think we got 95% off all the formula, clothes, diapers, wipes, shoes, etc...

Supplies

2011-11-23T14:11:00.005-06:00

Friends/Colleagues:

Emily and I have a room full of old bags and a crazy amount of diapers, clothes, wipes, blankets, etc. You guys are awesome.

This foundation was kind enough to send us 200 pounds of infant formula: http://brightontheirworld.org/. They ship formula to traveling families that are willing to act as mules to deliver to orphanages in Ethiopia (insert Scott mule jokes here).

We made sure to put everything on our dining room table, so our Thanksgiving guests tomorrow have to help us pack, sort, and weigh the 12 bags we will be taking before they can eat turkey!

Again, thank you so much for the support. I look forward to sharing pictures and stories of our adventure and your generosity.

Bartender, hit me again!

2011-11-23T13:53:00.002-06:00

Ummm. Well, it has been a while since we have posted. 3 years, 9 months, and 13 days to be exact.

All is well with the Lydick family. Nevaeh is a princess and keeps her older brothers in line. We decided about 18 months ago that she needed a little sister.

Very long story short... Emily & I and our 2 oldest sons (Oscar 9, Bryce 7) will be boarding a flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in two days for a court visit to help finalize the adoption of our precious new 3 year old daughter. With Nevaeh, we only needed to travel once and were able to bring her home on that trip. Since then, the rules have changed and we needed to travel twice.

A few more things

2008-02-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

Had a bunch of questions about my last post for upcoming travelers a few clarifications and additional stuff:

VPN: If you don't know what this is, then you probably don't have it. Simplistically, it is a way to connect to a office network in a secure way. It also makes all the sites/email web traffic go through that destination so it "appears" that you are in the US when you use skype/blogger.

If you don't have a VPN setup with your work, then use the email post option on blogger to post.

Mosquitos/Maleria pills: We saw zero mosquitos in Addis. The elevation is high enough plus it is the middle of summer (very little standing water) so bugs were not a problem at all.

Bring sunblock.

Converters/adapters: The plugs in Addis are the small circle prong type (european, i think). You only need a device that converts the voltage if you are going to use a device that produces heat (hair dryer/curling iron), otherwise you just need an adaptor to change the plug(much cheaper). Most all cell phone/computer/camera chargers already have a converter. If you look on the converter (the box thing on the plug) it typically says that it takes 120-240V. So all you need to do is get the adapter plug. We got this one at circuit city.

For Gladney families the biggest expense will be the hotel/guest house and the driver. Everything else is very inexpensive ... meals: $10 - $40 / day

Pictures: You can print pictures at photo shops in town. They cost 20birr a piece (.20). They could also probably burn them to a CD if you need more room on your memory card. We printed a bunch of pictures for the boys at Kolfe.

Advice for soon to be travelers to Ethiopia

2008-02-08T13:23:00.000-06:00

all together

2008-02-07T18:54:00.000-06:00

The boys were thrilled to have us home and they love their new baby
sister. The dogs might take a bit to get used to but we are all
adjusting very nicely.

Home at last

2008-02-06T19:48:00.000-06:00

Wow 36hours of traveling. We are beat.

One more video for now. I think this was yesterday, but not really
sure what time zone I'm in right now. This is Travis, one of
Gladney's in-country staff AND a monkey we met on the sidewalk in the
middle of the city.

Kolfe Feast

2008-02-05T00:35:00.000-06:00

Quick note: We are leaving today so we have last minute shopping and
we have to pack but I wanted to post some pictures of the Kolfe feast.

It was awesome. We got there at 9am and talk a bit with the boys,
then we met the 5 sheep, then we... ehh umm "dressed" the sheep and
prepared the meal. All of the boys helped with the meal and I got
some great photos of the Kolfe Mommas cooking. These boys are the
most wonderful kids you can imagine and we really enjoyed spending so
much time with them. We finally at at about 1:30pm and had some
fantastic fellowship with them. At one point a man cam around with
the "special dish" and all the boys pointed to a spot near me for him
to scoop some out on. They said "try it try it", and had a very
mischievous look on their faces. I told them to try it first and
they hesitated before finnaly trying it and putting on a fake "yummy"
face. I asked Belay what it was.... stomach. I didn't try it.
Funny boys. Emily ended up eating it with out knowing (she was at
a different table).

Last pic was at another orphanage, we gave them a 24ft parachute.
They had a blast with it.

Our Little Princess

2008-02-03T22:17:00.000-06:00

This is a dress that her primary caregiver at the Gladney house gave
her when we first met Nevaeh.

day 5 pics

2008-02-03T00:47:00.000-06:00

- the first few Nevaeh was really posing for the camera
- the a few from crater lake
- the last one was from the Hilton. There was a big wedding there
and they had 2 of these "hanging raw meat stations". We took the
picture from the other side of the glass. People would walk up and a
server would slice off a big hunk of meat. Chalk that up as the last
time we will probably see big hunks of raw meat hanging in a Hilton.

Day 5

2008-02-02T23:16:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a bit of a lazy day which was refreshing after such an
intense Day 4. Emily woke up at 8:30 feeling very disorientated. We
think she had a mild case of altitude sickness. She really didn't
start feeling better until after lunch. Our driver picked us up at
around 9:45 to do some souvenir shopping. We did very well at the
shopping. It was difficult because every little shop had really neat
stuff. We only got halfway down the row of shops before we ran out of
local money and Emily started really feeling bad. The shops were
maybe 3' x 5' with 3 walls. We will probably return to get some more
stuff, but are really pleased with all that we bought so far. It is common
to bargain at these shops but not easy to do. Most things are very
well priced to begin with, so it's difficult to start bargaining down the
shopkeepers when we have so much, even though they expect the bargaining...
It is tough. We did make the mistake of going into a shop that sold a lot of necklaces and Emily
tried a bunch on before we asked the prices. After she had picked
out her favorite three pieces and we had all commented how much we liked
them, we then asked the price. I would not recommend that method,
but the price was still fair to American prices.

After shopping, we went to a fantastic pizza place call Aztica (Ethiopia was once occupied by Italy), and then back to he hotel for naps and resting up.

At 4pm, we headed off to Dreamland, which is a resort about 90min
away from Addis. We drove through an industrial part outside of
Addis and then eventually made our way to the resort. Dreamland
overlooks this crater lake and was absolutely beautiful. We had a
fantastic meal outside on the patio overlooking the lake (Ethiopian
traditional food) with all the families, drivers and Belay. The sun
was setting behind us. The setting was really quite amazing. This
resort is located in a small town outside of Addis. It is really
strange to be in such luxury amidst such poverty 10 feet outside
the wall of the resort. Belay said that one of the most popular jobs
is the waitering job for the restaurant on Saturday night (when the
Gladney families come to eat).

While driving around in the afternoon, we also had the chance to stop
by a photo shop and printed out a bunch of pictures that we took
at the Kolfe boys orphanage. We will hand the pictures out to the
guys when we see them on Monday... which reminds me. I wanted to do
a big feast for the boys at Kolfe, and a business friend of mine that
has been following our blog has bought 4 lambs/goats for the feast.
We are going to have it on Monday, which is my birthday. Emily and
I are going to get there at 9am and I am going to help the boys
prepare the lambs/goats. Hopefully they will let us help prepare and
cook the meal as well. We are incredibly excited about filling the
tummies of those fantastic boys and just spending some time and
fellowship with them. I can't imagine a better birthday present.

Picture is the Kolfe boys, will post more pics later

eh - nay !!!!

2008-02-01T12:09:00.000-06:00

I give the blog to Emily for one night and she turns in into a novel... In case you didn't realize, I am more of a numbers & cliff notes guy.

2 things to add and a picture.

1) Yes super emotional, super draining day.

2) At the 2nd orphanage, all the kids loved to have their picture taken and then loved it even more when you show them their picture on the screen. So much so, that they were pushing each other to see my 2" screen, so I decided to just take pictures. The kept shouting EH NAY EH NAY! (spelling? - ene?) and our driver said that means "me". After about 30 pictures without an end in site (taking one picture didn't satisfy the thirst), i just put the camera in my pocket and started saying EH NAY EH NAY over and over and turning in circles. They thought this was quite funny. Luckily the head lady rang the bell and most them ran inside for some school work before I had to come up with a new brilliant plan.

-------

We ordered traditional ethiopian food for room service tonight. Nevaeh loves that Injera.

Rough Day and Dropping like Flies

2008-02-01T10:58:00.000-06:00

Today was the big day of visiting the government-run orphanages. We'd read from previous blogs that it's pretty difficult, so we'd been preparing ourselves. We started the day with a great leisurely breakfast. We found out at breakfast that we'd be meeting Nevaeh's birth mom at lunch. Scott and I knew that we were going to meet her sometime, but we weren't sure when. We had told Belay that we'd like to take her to lunch, rather than just at the Gladney house. We thought this would make it a little easier. The husband of one of the couples was apparently hit by a "having to run to the bathroom by the Big D, and we don't mean Dallas." Upon arriving to Addis, we had asked our driver about people getting sick and he pretty much said everyone gets sick, so one down.

We then headed off to Kolfe Boys Orphanage. I had seen pictures, so I felt as prepared as possible. The boys all crowded the cars as we entered the compound. I was overwhelmed by their genuine friendliness. Despite all of their hardships, they were incredibly warm and extremely inviting. One of the boys immediately took Nevaeh from me and held her the rest of the visit. Scott went off to play soccer (get schooled in soccer) while I went to play ping pong. (Soccer and the ping pong table (which is outside) are the two things they have.) Three of the boys were so excited for me to see where they stayed. Each had one bed with a blanket, all neatly made, but that was it. None of the boys have any possessions at all. One of them did show me a letter from a visitor that he had received a few years ago, but that was all he had. I didn't even see any spare clothes for any of the boys. They were extremely proud of their vegetable garden, of which they only grow lettuce. Scott and I plan to head back there on Monday. We didn't have time to see the whole compound since we had to leave to meet our birth mom.

Our meeting was very emotional, but very beneficial to all parties. We're very glad that we decided to meet at a restaurant. This made it much easier, instead of being like a formal interview. The only thing that we'll share is that our birth mom had actually named Lulu, Yabesra, which means "work of God". The name "Lulu" was given to her by an American caregiver. Apparently, there were several non-Ethiopian caregivers where they were staying and none of them could pronounce Yabesra, thus the name Lulu. The rest we're going to keep private to ourselves and Nevaeh, so don't even bother asking.

If that wasn't enough of an emotional day, Nevaeh felt like she was coming down with a fever (#2 down) and we were still scheduled to visit two more government-run orphanages. We went to the Kebe (something or other) orphanage where they have the youngest kids. There we found out the husband of the other couple wasn't feeling so well either, so they had to go back (#3 down). By now one of each family is down. Hopefully not for long though. I was so not prepared for this orphanage. All of the kids came running out to see us, but not with any enthusiasm like the older boys, but more of curiosity. At this young age, they had all already had too much of life and it was clearly visible on their faces. Since there aren't enough caregivers, money, etc, all of the kids wore tattered, dirty clothes... The older boys at Kolfe were really a family and were tightly bonded. These young kids were barely holding onto any hope. We visited with them a fair bit (a few spoke some English), then we headed into the infant room. I could barely hold myself together. It was so bad, that Scott didn't even want to take pictures. They had about 20 cribs in a small room, some of which had some that looked to be just a week or two old. There were so many kids that the caregivers didn't have any time to really pay attention to any one child. They just moved from one crib to another, adjusting bottles, changing a diaper, etc. but no real interaction with them. There was one boy, just over one, who was sitting in his crib (of which he was too big for) and started to cry when I began petting his head. They were just the silent kind of tears, streaming down his face. It was like he knew that crying out loud wasn't going to do anything for him. The caregiver said we couldn't pick him up because then he wouldn't let us put him down. It was more than heartbreaking. I had to leave the building. At this point (I hate to say thankfully) Nevaeh really wasn't feeling well, so we headed back to the hotel. I don't think I could have handled the last orphanage after the other two and meeting our birth mom. We're going to try to visit it either Monday or Tuesday.

Nevaeh is now sleeping in the hotel crib with a dose of Tylenol to make her feel a bit better. Today was a very sobering day, one that I will never forget. Tomorrow should be much ligher, emotionally. We're going shopping, assuming Nevaeh is feeling better.

One More for Today

2008-01-31T13:56:00.000-06:00

This was at the top of Entoto Mountain. There were 5 kids that
showed up. One of them had a stick, string, and a plastic grocery
bag... a homemade kite!!

2008-01-31T08:53:00.000-06:00

Eyasu, our driver, is the man in the photos holding Nevaeh

The woman, is a lady that works at the top of the mountain to collect the fee (10 birr, $1 for both of us), she is 18.

Day 3

2008-01-31T08:25:00.000-06:00

Nevaeh slept mostly through the night. She woke up at 4am and didn't want to go back to sleep right away so we took the time to call a few family members stateside since it was 7pm at night in Texas. After the phone calls we luckily went back to sleep until 9am. So all in all a great first night sleep for our new family.

We woke up and headed to one of the nearby mountain peaks for some sightseeing, Entoto Mountain. It was absolutely beautiful up there, from there we went to have lunch and then we went to the National Museum. All three of us woke up happily from a nice afternoon nap and tonight is the big cultural dinner with all the staff and families. Yum more injera!!! Neveah loves injera and we have ordered it for her the last 2 lunches. We packed some leftover injera from yesterday's lunch and dipped it in some mashed peas that we had brought, she loved it. It might well become a staple at our home.

pics to follow hopefully

She's not a bud, she's a buddette.

2008-01-31T08:15:00.001-06:00

More Pics

2008-01-30T13:44:00.000-06:00

A quick slide show of today.

Gotcha

2008-01-30T08:58:00.001-06:00

Internet is REALLY slow right now. Have to try a bit later for more
pics. But today was wonderful. Cliff Notes: We had a nice
breakfast, then headed to the Gladney house. Amanda and Jason already
had their special time meeting their son and so it was our turn.
Everyone left the room and Emily and I waited until they brought
Nevaeh into the room. Fantastic. She had little reaction during the
first 2 min, then the staff left the room to the three of us, and
Nevaeh quickly fell fast asleep. She slept for the next 30 min on my
arm and we had a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony. Afterwards we
headed to lunch at the Top View and then headed to the Embassy to get
all the other paperwork done, all three families were done in 25 min
(supposedly a record) and we headed to the Trinity Orthodox Church.
Took a ton of pictures today but will have to share them later when
internet improves or when we get home. In for a rest at the hotel
now, out to Ethiopian dinner tonight. Excellent day.

pics from our travel

2008-01-29T19:33:00.001-06:00

I think I figured out how to post pics from here. Hopefully this works. The traveling went fine, but as I said in the prior post the carry-on restrictions at Ethiopian air are very strict. 15lbs is not a lot of stuff. Emily was wearing a fashionable dob kit as a purse and we were able to sneak some weight to the Frey's after they got checked in.

We got so see the Nile from the air which was cool. Also flying over egypt was pretty amazing, desert as far as you could see. And kind of a no brainer, but flying into Addis was dark. Even-though they have 3 million people here there was not much ambient light coming off the city from the air. And of course the areas surrounding Addis were very dark.

The Gladney Staff have been wonderful even in our first 3 hours. They had 4 cars to pick us and the Frey's up, and our driver picked us up some bottled water on the way to the hotel.

Lots of guys at the hotel grounds with machine guns. There is a huge African conference going on this week an the Hilton is a popular place, so security is tight. I guess Emily and I fit in well as we were checking in with all of our bags. "And here comes the foreign dignitaries from Texas"

We Made It!!

2008-01-29T14:35:00.000-06:00

We arrived about 2 hours ago and all is well. All the bags made it. We had a lot of help from the Frey's (our traveling buddies). Both of our families head to the gladney house in about 11 hours to finally meet our children!! So very exciting.

Bags

2008-01-28T16:26:00.000-06:00

21" x 16" x 8" -- 15lbs. Carryon limit

Plus a laptop or purse

Restrictions for ethiopian air.

Oops........
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

And we are off

2008-01-28T11:06:00.001-06:00

Thanks again for all the prayers and humanitarian aid. We checked 11 bags in. Luckily the united check area was relativly empty. Apparently they only give a discount for camera crews, and our point & shoot didn't quite make the bar.

The Frey's checked in right after us and will be our traveling buddies for the next 24 hours.

- the lydicks

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

MORE PACKING!!!!

2008-01-22T21:36:00.001-06:00

OK. I might have lost count, but I think we have seven 69 pounders
and three 49 pounders. Two of the duffles are slightly over 62" but
hopefully we will get an agent with a big heart.

Still haven't packed us yet. Guess we'll start tomorrow.

More Packing

2008-01-21T16:16:00.001-06:00

The ones standing up are done. 69lbs each.

The ones laying down are 49lbs and we need to put 20lbs more books in
them.

Still haven't packed our clothes yet.

For those planning to take United Airlines to Ethiopian Air to Addis
the restrictions are as follows:
2 checked in luggage for free (62 linear inches & 50lb limit)
Additional bags are $160-180 (I have called 4 times and gotten a
different answer every time)
You can upgrade any bag to 70lbs for $50.
The limit on extra bags is 4, so 6 checked bags total per person.

I haven't found anyway to get United to give a discount for
Humanitarian Aid.

Packing

2008-01-19T16:55:00.000-06:00

62 linear inches, 50lbs, ohhh my!!! That's the limit for United International flights per checked-in bag.

We basically started packing things today. Not our things, but aid for the foster homes and orphanages. We have had an outpouring of support from our friends, sunday school class and Greenwood Office Outfitters. We have over 300 lbs of notebooks, diapers, school workbooks, children's clothing. So... um ... yeah, we will be buying extra bags.

Did you really just wake me up?

2008-01-14T08:40:00.000-06:00

Here I lay, fast asleep dreaming of dolls, teddy bears, brothers....

Did you really just wake me up to take a PICTURE!!!

Ok, photo shoot over, can I go back to sleep now?

Thanks to the Runnions for sending us new footage of our little one. They just returned after picking up their daughter. Here is what they said: "She was just waking up when we saw her...hence her not so happy face in one of the photos. The caregivers LOVE her!! She is the Princess of her room! "

Whoa squared

2008-01-04T12:59:00.000-06:00

Court done, our beautiful Nevaeh is offcially ours!!! We travel Jan 29th.
Thank you for all your prayers.

We are currently missing connecting flights and traveling in rainy California (the sunshine state?!). Always an adventure with the lydick clan....

Our hearts and prayers go out to those that got delayed today in court, we know this must be extremely tough.

Whoa?!?!

2008-01-02T12:11:00.000-06:00

Court date scheduled for this Friday, January 4th.

Which means we could travel as soon as late Jan - early Feb!!!!

Court processes can get delayed and moved so we are trying to keep a flexible mindset, but WHOA!!!!

so many things to do, so little time.....

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

2008-01-01T18:22:00.000-06:00

A few bits of irony about our referral for your New Years enjoyment:

- Bryce has been crazy about pirates for the last two years ---> Our darling little girl has one hooped earring and is nicknamed "cutest pirate" by her caregivers

- Emily and I had talked about trying to stop in Dubai on our way over there to see the amazing city. We probably won't go now because of logisitics. ---> Nevaeh was conceived and born in Dubai, so we're getting the best part of Dubai, even if we don't go there.

Oscar drew this picture at the beginning of last week before the referral, he had decided to call his new baby sister Bessy for the longest time until last week. This is a picture of him, Emily, and "Lucy". He changed what he wanted to call her out of the blue last week to Lucy, obviously quite close to LuLu.

Happy New Year to all! I know that 2008 will be wonderful and different for our family, I hope it is good for all of you.

More Pictures

2007-12-30T08:28:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Carey for sending us more pictures of Nevaeh!! She and her
husband Drew met her when they were picking up their daughter last
month. Carey says: "You guys are going to go nuts when you meet her
in person. You can just tell she's really special and full of life.
She's talkative, flirtatious, alert and social. She definitely made
an impression on us." Is that simply awesome or what?!

Also, we have made contact with another family that is arriving today in Ethiopia and they will be sending us more pictures.

Details...

2007-12-29T15:16:00.000-06:00

Scott and I were thrilled to get the call from Natalie yesterday! The timing could have been a little bit better, as I was a bit preoccupied when she called. My morning kind of went like this...

Both Oscar and Bryce had spent the night at his mom's house for some Grandma time so Max and I were going to spend the morning running errands before she brought them home around 11. Right when Max and I were about to leave, Ginny called me and said that Bryce was constipated and what should she do. I told her just to try some apple juice and that if he hadn't gone by the time she brought him home, I had some medicine for him. So she tried some juice and nothing happened. Meanwhile, as soon as I get off the phone, the electricians show up to do some more wiring for our addition. I then had to show them some changes we were making, which took up more of Max and my errand running time. Max and I frantically rush to Target (as shopping is much faster with just one, much less 3, now 4), then to Costco. We get home right before the boys and Ginny informs me that Bryce still has not gone to the bathroom, plus he'd woken up at 4 in the morning and was a bit cranky (to put it very nicely). So now, I'm trying to unload everything I'd bought, fix lunch and get two cranky kids (it is now past Max's naptime) down for their nap. While I'm doing this, I decide to call Scott and tell him about the electrician's visit. We were on the phone for about a minute, when the call waiting beeped. I looked and it said the infamous word 'UNKNOWN'. The only other person besides Natalie that sometimes shows up as Unknown is Scott, and I was on the phone with him. My stomach flip flopped as I clicked over and she said she had a referral. I clicked back to Scott all teary eyed and told her we got our referral. We then started a three-way call so she could fill us in on all the details. It was at this time that Bryce finally had to poop. Talk about timing. Poor thing was crying on the toilet so loud that I could barely hear Natalie. We had to call her back about five minutes later after all business was finished. Plus, I quickly put Max down.

Anyways, she is nine months old, born back on March 22 and has the best smile ever. She's beginning to get teeth which apparently makes her smile even more. At her last check up in December, she weighed 19.1 lbs, so she may be bigger than Max our youngest boy, who is on the bottom end of the growth charts!!! She's got one ear pierced, thus the 'cutest pirate'.

Next steps

2007-12-29T13:16:00.001-06:00

We have gotten many questions on what are the next steps and timing of everything. Here are some answers:

Next Steps:
1) Official accept the referral (done today)
2) Gladney Ethiopian staff then requests a court date to finalize the Adoption - this can take 2-4 weeks to get a date so Mid to Late January
3) Court Date - Nevaeh's birth mother is in Addis Ababa currently so she will likely be at the court date to approve (God willing) the adoption
4) After the Court process is final, she is legally our daughter and we can pick her up

We will likely schedule our travel plans one week after the court date, because the court process can be delayed for many reasons.

When we are over there, we will meet and take pictures of her birth mother and try to find out as much history about her and her family so we can share with our daughter when she gets older.

Oh, one more thing, the Gladney staff in Ethiopia have nicknamed her "cutest pirate" because she has one hoop earing in her left ear.

- the "still on cloud nine" lydicks

Introducing Nevaeh Grace Lulu Lydick

2007-12-28T16:57:00.000-06:00

It is a mouthful, but we wanted to preserve her given name "Lulu". We will call her Nevaeh (pronounced neh vay uh), or heaven spelled backwards. She is nine months old and was actually born in Dubai, although both her birth parents are Ethiopian. More details to come later.

But.... isn't she absolutely GORGEOUS!!!!

Christmas and Santa can fix anything

2007-12-26T12:48:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a fantastic day. Christmas is so much fun with kids. Oscar woke up at six and climbed in bed with us until 7, when we told him he could finally wake up his brothers. The boys loved what Santa brought them and seeing that he had eaten their cookies and the reindeer had eaten all of their reindeer food. They even ate the bowl of peanut butter that Oscar thought they'd like as a special treat. I was kind of worried that some sort of gross bugs would have found the peanut butter, but we lucked out. Santa had brought each of the boys their own snowglobe. Max's was a giant plastic one that blew around the snow and the other two were Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh. Max accidently dropped Bryce's which of course broke. Oscar piped up and said, "That's ok. We'll just send it back to Santa's workshop and he can fix it." This made Bryce feel much better, to which he added "Santa has magic and he can fix anything!" Under normal circumstances I would have said Santa's already come and gone this year and that he's now taking a very much needed rest and that he'd have to wait until next year. But I didn't have the heart. So needless to say, I got up and went to Target first thing this morning and fortunately they had two Winnie the Pooh snowglobes left. At least now they were 50% off. We're going to 'mail' the broken one back and the new one will show up in the mail in a few days. Oscar got an electric guitar (without strings) that he loves from his Papa and Peepie (Scott's dad and wife)! He keeps running around saying that he's a rock star, then strumming a few notes, before running again. It's pretty funny. He even went as far as to put on his rock star clothes. We were a little curious as to what those would be since he has just normal clothes. He came back in his jeans and a shirt with a lion roaring on it. He's got the right idea anyways. We stole one of my friend's traditions and made our own individual homemade pizzas for dinner. We even made our own dough. We told the boys they could have whatever they wanted on it, so they both ate theirs with cheese, pepperoni and hotdogs and no sauce. It was a fun way for us all to be together in the kitchen, rather than the adults trying to cook a really nice meal that the kids don't care about anyways. We then topped it off with Jesus' birthday cake which was a chocolate (flourless-for Bryce) cake that tasted like a mix between fudge and mousse. Very yummy. The only way the day could have been better was to have gotten a referral, but it will come soon enough. Hopefully by Ethiopia's Christmas calendar.

It's CHRISTMAS!!!!

2007-12-25T09:53:00.001-06:00

Scenes from the Lydick Christmas.

The more complete set of pics and videos are at:

http://gallery.mac.com/lydick

Our Christmas card pic in product (RED).

Putting out reindeer food. Eating Santa's "Crumbs"

Thoughts on humanitarian aid

2007-12-24T12:18:00.000-06:00

After thinking through things a bit more, Emily and I are leaning towards having a big fund raising effort after we get back from traveling to Ethiopia. Several people have asked us what they can do to help, and we have tossed around a few ideas. When we get back, we will have pictures, video, and hands on experience of the needs that are greatest.

We can only carry so many things over b/c of baggage restrictions. We will easily pack 3 full bags with all of our kid's old clothes, plus the normal orphan humanitarian aid (diapers, formula, wipes), and the goodies we are taking for the orphans (beach balls, balloons, candy, i.e. light things that are easy to pack).

So when we get back, I think that a fundraising dinner would be the most efficient way to help raise money for whatever purpose that moves us while we are over there. There is a fantastic Ethiopian restaurant in Dallas (The Queen of Sheba) that caters, so that might be a lot of fun and a good way to give some culture to the event.

Merry Christmas Everyone! The Gladney offices are closed today, so I don't think we will be getting a referral for Christmas, but the bright side is that Ethiopian Christmas is on January 7th, so we could still get our wish.

I pray that our little girl is safe, healthy and happy on this night.

I Think we are NEXT!!!!

2007-12-19T07:36:00.000-06:00

Congrats to Samantha and Fernando for receiving their referral of a beautiful little girl, Celeste Fenit.

They got on the waitlist about 3 weeks ahead of us and I think we are next.

Emily and I have been really moved by this post on the Mestas's blog. When they were picking up thier son in Ethiopia they had the chance to visit the Kolfe orphanage for older boys. These boys will probably never have the chance to be adopted. They recently posted a slideshow video from their trip that is worth looking at.

We are trying to decide how best to help out while we are there, details to come soon.

Christmas with Santa

2007-12-18T20:27:00.000-06:00

The boys have had a great time with Christmas this year so far. They are at such a neat phase for the holiday. Santa is still real. Learning about baby Jesus. Great stuff.

And the christmas pictures never turn out perfect with santa....

Bryce looks like he had some "loaded eggnog", Oscar looks naughty, and Max just didn't want to be there.

The boy's innocence does have its advantages though. Emily and I keep threatening to call Santa when they are naughty. That won't last long.. maybe only one more year.

Waiting

2007-12-18T12:17:00.000-06:00

Ok, so in my last post I said that the time up to now seems to have been going fast. Now it seems like it's stopped. The remodel on our house seems to have come to a stop, for no reason, but that we're waiting from a letter from the engineer before the inspector will let us continue. Max is asleep and the other two boys are at school, so it's quiet now. When I'm not busy, or there's no banging in the room next door, (from either the construction workers or the boys), is when it seems to be the hardest. It's also hard when I'm trying to go to sleep. I just lie there in bed and think of all of the things that I'd like to bring for all of the other orphans and wish that I could take 20 bags instead of just the 2. Then I think of even if I could bring everything the orphans need, (warm clothes, school supplies, food, diapers, blankets, new windows for the older boy's orphanage), what they really need are families. I'd probably take every last one of them in if we could. Yesterday I read on someone else's website that they put together baggies for each of the kids. Last night, I laid there and laid there thinking of what things we could put in baggies that are relatively light weight for packing and that the kids would enjoy. It's almost like where do you begin? since they need so much. The Breedlove's just got their referral for their little boy who is an absolute doll!!! What an awesome Christmas present!!! I have to admit that I am a little jealous even though I try not to be. I wish we could only be so lucky. I know that our call will come in due time. I have a friend who adopted from China and they had to wait 2 years! I don't know how they did it. That seems almost impossible!!!

Waiting and the Bug

2007-12-16T12:22:00.000-06:00

Not much to say, it's just been awhile since we've posted. Today makes 11 weeks, 3 days on the wait list. It would be so much fun to get a call by Christmas, but I'm really trying not to get my hopes up. At least the time, up till now, seems to be going relatively fast. I've been busying myself with all of the holiday shopping, Christmas decorating, baking of Christmas cookies, but now all of that is done so I just find myself thinking more and more about when we're going to get the call. I really don't have anything to complain about, seeing that if I were pregnant, I'd only be 6 months pregnant from when we officially started everything. It's just that by now if I were pregnant, I'd have some sort of tangible signs of the upcoming arrival-like kicking, or at least a fat tummy. Anyways, enough of the dwelling.

Today is a perfectly gorgeous day, but unfortunately, we've been passing around a stomach bug and can't enjoy it. I was nauseous all day yesterday, Max threw up all over himself in the car on the way to Scott's sister's house where we were going to celebrate an early Christmas. (His grandparents were in town for a long weekend, so we all thought we'd celebrate with them while they were in town.) Oscar threw up at Scott's sister's house, while Scott was giving Max a bath from his throw up while I laid on the couch since I wasn't feeling well. Oscar again threw up after we got home, and then Bryce threw up pizza all over the carpet in the middle of the night. There's nothing like cleaning up a bright orange stain in the carpet at 2:30 in the morning. Now Scott is beginning to feel a little sick. At least I and the kids are on the upswing and so far it seems to be a 24 hour thing . (I hope.)

Two Data Points

2007-11-28T15:02:00.001-06:00

Well, I thought Emily would be the one waiting by the phone, but it seems that it is more the case with me. I am not a very patient person plus I am a very analytical person (its my job).

Anyway, I just found out that a Gladney Family in the process of adopting an infant girl recieved their referral yesterday, exactly 15 weeks and 4 days from their official wait list date.

Also the parents at Timm & Jennifer got their referral for an infant girl 15 weeks and 2 days after the wait list began.

Given that our wait list date was Sept. 27th, that would put us at Jan 12-14th to receive "the call". Very very exciting. We were originally told that the normal is 3-5months although it seems to be quicker for those adopting boys. So 15 weeks definately falls in the middle of that range.

I have to admit, I have been thinking how wonderful a christmas present "the call" would be.

Everyone sing with me, "All I want for christmas is the re-fer-rall call, the re-fer-rall call, oh the re-fer-rall call...."

Thanksgiving

2007-11-27T11:30:00.000-06:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Every year we alternate between Thanksgiving and Christmas between Scott's and my families. This year we'll do Christmas with his family and next year we'll switch. When we spend Thanksgiving with my side, we also do Christmas. We were up in Indy for 5 full days and our boys played with their cousins nonstop without ever getting tired of each other. It's fantastic. My brother has a little girl (the only girl of all the cousins) and can't wait for ours to get here, even though there will be about a 3 year age difference.

I've been waiting to go on this trip so that we can get back and I can go ahead and pack a bag for Ethiopia. It might sound a little premature, but organization is on my list of things to do before we get our referral. (I'm whittling away at my list-I still need to find an adoption keepsake book that I like.) Since we won't need anymore boys clothes, I have been throwing all of Max's clothes he's outgrown into a huge pile. If the pile had been right next to his crib, he could have easily crawled out of his crib and slid down the pile! Yesterday I washed everything and folded it all, ready to pack one of our large bags with all of them to take to the orphanages in Ethiopia. Today I made one last look in his closet before I was going to pack our first bag and I found two more boxes of clothes that I am now washing. Originally I was just going to donate them here, but then decided that we'd take them there instead. We may have to pay extra for all of our luggage, and most all of it won't even be for Scott and I to wear.

As far as our house goes, the construction crew has started on our renovations. I'm so excited. They worked a little while we were gone, so it was pretty wild to come back to an almost entire new room upstairs (at least framed and floored). I'm so glad that we decided to do the room addition, and especially to get it done before we travel. Need to go pick up paint samples. I'll add that to my list...

Want to learn more?

2007-11-15T11:30:00.000-06:00

Emily and I finished reading the book, There is no Me without You. It has been the best book we have read as far as educating us on the need in Ethiopia to help the over 4 million orphans.

Ethiopian Children Adopted from the US
Fiscal Year Number of Immigrant Visas Issued
FY 2006 731
FY 2005 440
FY 2004 289
FY 2003 135
FY 2002 105

Some Statistics:
• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday
• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old
• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition
• The median age in Ethiopia is 17.8 years
• 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world)
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia.
• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa
• In the 90s the population (3%) grew faster than food production (2.2%)
• Drought struck the country from 2000-2002 (first year no crops, second year no seeds, third year no animals)
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.
• Coffee prices (Ethiopia’s only major export) fell 40-60% from 1998-2002.
• Ethiopia’s doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000.
• In 1993, after 30 long years of war, Eritrea broke from Ethiopia and became an independent nation leaving Ethiopia landlocked without any major seafaring ports.

7 Weeks in Waiting

2007-11-15T08:18:00.000-06:00

Scott and I were reading another blog the other night that just picked up their little girl from Ethiopia. They, too, are using Gladney. They said that the orphanage was completely full with 20 babies, all under 9 months. They also said that only 3 had been referred and the rest had been matched, meaning that they're waiting on all of their medical testing, etc. to finish up before they're referred. So what I'm getting at is that one of those remaining 17 babies could be ours, we just don't know it yet! I'm trying to not get my hopes up. I keep thinking of things that would make the process longer so as not to get my hopes up. Like, the additional PCR HIV test we ordered. (They already do one Rapid test and 1 PCR test.) They have to wait for the results before they do the second PCR test. This would delay our referral some, but we would never know it. It's 7 weeks today since our dossier was sent off and it seems like some people are finding out as soon as 2 months.

Max is going through an extremely clingy stage at 17 months, and Bryce (3) still hasn't gotten all the way out of it. Actually, Bryce isn't clingy, he's just really needy if he's tired, and unfortunatley he's not the best sleeper. He is getting much better though about not waking up in the middle of the night. He's also recently gotten better about staying in bed at bedtime. We have to threaten to throw away his Halloween candy, of which he's not really eating anyway, but regardless he does not want us to throw it away, so he's been staying in bed. With Bryce, it's kind of like you do whatever works. At least Bryce is still napping. I keep thinging that even if we were referred today and travel in 6-8 weeks, that maybe that's enough time for both Max and Bryce to get out of their clingyness. That's probably a lot of wishful thinking.

Meanwhile, Scott and I have been filling our free time watching Hague videos to satisfy their new requirements. We have 4 hours left. We keep thinking that if we finish our hours, then they'll see that we're ready. At least Scott and I are ready. Oscar can't wait. Don't know about Max and Bryce.

Two Different Kinds of Love

2007-11-10T08:02:00.000-06:00

A friend of ours posted this poem on her family's blogsite when they were adopting from Columbia. It was written by a Colombian birth mother that was giving up her child. I found it so revealling that I asked Barbara if she would mind if we posted it on ours. It says the world from both sides of the story....

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other
One you do not remember
The other you call Mother
Two different lives
Shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star
The other became your sun
The first one gave you life
And the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love
The second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality
The other gave you a name
One gave you a talent
The other gave you an aim
One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile
The other dried your tears
One sought for you a home -that she could not provide
The other prayed for a child - and her hopes were not denied
And now you ask me through your tears
The age-old question Unanswered through the years
Heredity or environment?
Which are you a product of?
Neither my darling, neither
Just two different kinds of love

"Eyes wide open" ... well not quite yet, but getting closer

2007-11-05T11:37:00.000-06:00

As said in a previous post, Emily and I have been busy trying to better educate ourselves with regards to culture, race, Africa, and Ethiopia. It is amazing what you think you know until your eyes are opened to what you don't know. I think it is tough to "know" much about all four of those things growing up in a middle to upperclass white family living in white suburbia unless you actively search out information.

We watched the movie God Grew Tired of Us over the weekend. Orphaned by a tumultuous civil war and traveling barefoot across the sub-Saharan desert, John Bul Dau, Daniel Abol Pach and Panther Blor were among the 25,000 “Lost Boys” (ages 3 to 13) who fled villages, formed surrogate families and sought refuge from famine, disease, wild animals and attacks from rebel soldiers. Named by a journalist after Peter Pan’s posse of orphans who protected and provided for each other, the “Lost Boys” traveled together for five years and against all odds crossed into the UN’s refugee camp in Kakuma, Kenya. A journey’s end for some, it was only the beginning for John, Daniel and Panther, who along with 3800 other young survivors, were selected to re-settle in the United States.
The movie was eye opening to say the least. The most incredible thing to me was the drive that John Dau (one of the "Lost Boys") had to not only be successful himself but to transfer that success into help towards his country. In addition to sending money directly to his family and friends at the refugee camp, he has set up a foundation to build medical clinics in Sudan.
The cliff note version:
- a boy that survives a thousand mile walk through Africa with no other means besides other kids like himself
- he lives in a refugee camp on the brink of starvation for 5-7 years
- he is relocated to the US, where he works multiple jobs a day and gets an education
- he uses his freedom to devote his life towards helping the boys/men still at the refugee camp and to set up medical clinics in Sudan

If he can accomplish that, what are we supposed to accomplish (from a humanitarian prospective)?

Adding On

2007-11-02T09:42:00.000-05:00

I keep forgetting who we've told and who we haven't told about our adoption. I keep thinking we've told everyone, then we run across someone that for some reason or another we haven't told. For example, every year our neighborhood has a great big Halloween block party. Everyone comes to the block party, then when it gets dark, the kids scatter and start their trick-or-treating. Not only are we adopting, but we are also going to add on an office/spare bedroom to our house. Our family room has high ceilings that go all the way to the second story. We're going to floor it (put a lower ceiling on) so that the new room will be upstairs. Scott had told one of our neighbors up the street that we're adding on. So I'm standing between two neighbors at the party when one asks about how are adoption is going. I tell her that we're done with the paperwork and that we're on the wait list and that we're very excited. I never said the word 'adoption' so I guess the exact same answer could be applied to our house addition. I guess my other neighbor didn't hear the question because about five seconds later, she says to me "So, Scott tells me you're adding on." Then she goes on saying "That's the best thing I've heard anyone doing! I wish we could have done it ourselves." Then I say, "Wow, we normally get really positive responses, but that's the best response yet!" I'm thinking she's talking about the adoption. She then kind of had a blank look on her face when I realize she's talking about the house. For some reason, the news of our adoption hadn't spread to her. Scott and I just keep going around, assuming everyone already knows. My apologies to anyone we haven't told. We haven't intentionally not told anyone, we just keep thinking we already have told everyone. Also, within our group of friends, news sometimes travels rather fast. So we've figured that if we didn't say something, then it has already traveled through the grapevine. So here it is, we're adding on 1) another child and 2) another room.

Ramblings and a book review

2007-10-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

Now we have been on the wait list for about a month and luckily the time has gone by very quickly. Emily and I have been busy enough with the kids and work and traveling to really not get too impatient about the next 2-3 months of waiting for "the call".

We have both been spending time reading books about adoption, interacial complexities and Ethiopia.

I read Same Kind of Different as Me and really enjoyed the book. Our Church hosted Ron Hall and Denver Moore (the authors) 2 weeks ago before we received the book in the mail. I am really bummed that Emily and I didn't get to see them speak and get the book signed by them when they were there. The book was fantastic and really was uplifting to read about how the Lord worked through the characters to help them see through race and preconceived biases against social-economic statuses.

Frequently Asked Questions

2007-10-19T09:46:00.000-05:00

Why are you adopting?
Scott and I always wanted 3-5 kids. After three high risk pregnancies, we decided that that chapter of our lives was closed. (Being pregnant anyways.) We still wanted to have a girl even though we already had 3 wonderful biological boys and decided that adoption was right for us.

Which agency are you using?
We're using Gladney, which is base out of Fort Worth, TX. So far, we've been very pleased with our decision. They have been very supportive and very quick to answer any of our questions. We feel confidant in them since they have been around for over 100 years.

Why International versus Domestic?
We had never even considered the differences between the two until we started thinking about adoption ourselves. We decided that we didn't want to emotionally deal with being picked by a birth mother, and then for her to change her mind in the end. It would be several months of excitement and then a huge let down. We also didn't want to have an open adoption. Pretty much all domestic adoptions are open in some way or another. It varies widely from one picture to yearly get togethers. We decided to be selfish and keep her all to ourselves.

Why Ethiopia?
We knew that we wanted to have an infant girl. Seeing that we already have 3 boys, that eliminates us from some programs automatically. We also wanted to be able to choose the gender and get an infant, or as close as possible. By narrowing it all down, we decided that Ethiopia would be our best fit. Plus, Ethiopian food has long been our favorite, so it will be a pleasure to have an even better reason to learn to cook it now. Plus, in our heart of hearts, we knew we'd find her there.

How long does it take?
We were able to finish our application and our dossier (all of the paperwork that is sent to our Sec. of State, then the State Department, then on to Ethiopia for translation) in about 3 1/2 months. From there, the referral time is 3-5 months for Ethiopia, then 6-8 weeks till we travel to get her. (The referral means when a child is placed with us and they start sending her med. records and pictures).

Do you worry about raising a child of another race?
Absolutely, but then worrying is just a plain fact about parenting. We're worried that people won't be accepting of her and all of the obstacles that may come her way. Being white, we'll never know what it's like to be black. We just pray that we do the best that we possibly can. We never would have taken on this adoption if we didn't think we could handle it. Plus, I think worrying about her makes us, if not better parents, at least more sensitive.

How have your families and friends reacted?
Fortunately, we have had very positive responses and a lot of excitement. It will be the second granddaughter on my side and the first granddaughter on Scott's side. We have had a few people that were surprised, but I think more surprised over us adopting than from where. Only one couple was so taken aback that we didn't even tell them that we were adopting from Ethiopia. It was an unfortunate reaction, but we don't see them often and will probably become more infrequent if they're not supportive.

What age have you requested?
Seeing that we already have three wonderful boys, we decided to go for the girl! We've requested 0-9 months so that we can start from her earliest stage possible. We hate to miss all of those first firsts that happen in their infancy.

Do you worry about AIDS/HIV?
HIV/AIDS unfortunately is extremely widespread throughout Ethiopia. We didn't want to have to emotionally deal with this, so we've requested a child without HIV. She will be tested three times -one Rapid test and two PCR tests. These tests are done before we even know that we're getting her so that we don't have to make a difficult decision.

I have so many other things to do....

2007-10-18T15:25:00.000-05:00

Last week, Scott and I had the pleasure of meeting up with three other families that are also adopting from Ethiopia. It's always interesting to meet other people that are in the process or already have adopted, because everyone always has a story. It's really nice to have a network of people that understand everything that adoption entails. The only downside to our meeting was the discovery of our lack of a blog. We knew about blogs, had thought about blogs and had planned on blogging, but just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Needless to say, we were the only ones there without a blog-thus here is our blog.... I have so many other things to do, especially with three kids, but now I find myself looking at other people's blogs thinking of things we need to add. Like earlier today, I found a great blog (also adopting from Ethiopia) that has music. I IM'd Scott and told him we now need music. I also saw some FAQ's that were really good and told him we need to add those too. (Nothing like keeping up with the Jones's, huh). I even made myself a list of things I want to get done and organized before we get our little girl. I can say that I have successfully done a few things off the list, but the list is still taped to the fridge, waiting for me to cross more things off. Instead, here I am typing, thinking of adding some music...

Names, Names, Names

2007-10-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

We've finally been tossing around names, which is somewhat easier this time since we know we're getting a girl. At least we don't have to come up with a boys' and a girls' name this time. We think that maybe we've decided (still not 100%) so I won't name it quite yet. We do, however, think that we're going to give her a first and middle name, then use her name that her birth mother gave her as a second middle name. We were once at the airport and saw this lady working there that had such a long first name that it took up the entire name tag. We hope that that is not her name, but we'll make do if it is. We just may have to shorten it by 20 letters or so. Anyways, we told the boys of our name idea and they were anything but enthusiastic. They pretty much just scrunched up their faces like we were crazy. Oscar wants to name her Bessie (like a cow), or maybe Ellie, which Scott and I much prefer. We told them that regardless of what we name her, they're welcome to call her by their own name that they choose to give her. The poor thing is going to be so confused with so many names.

our first post

2007-10-07T07:34:00.001-05:00

Ok, so we are a little behind on doing the blog, but better late than never, right?

An update:
All of our documentation was finished and sent to DC on September 27th. From there it is sent to Ethiopia and we are told that the current waiting time for a referral is 3-5 months. So we could travel and pick up our baby girl anytime in between December - March.

The only thing left for us to do is to complete our 10 hours of educational training which includes any courses or books.

We just ordered the following books from amazon and should receive them shortly:

Same Kind of Different as Me: A Modern-Day Slave, an International Art Dealer, and the Unlikely Woman Who Bound Them Together [Hardcover]
By: Ron Hall (Author), Denver Moore (Author)

There Is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Her Country's Children [Paperback]
By: Melissa Fay Greene (Author)

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla [Paperback]
By: Margeurite Wright (Author)

Born in Our Hearts: Stories of Adoption [Paperback]
By: Filis Casey (Author), Marisa Catalina Casey (Author)

Also we are watchings some videos about adoption on a website and our CPR class that we took a few months ago should count toward our goal. So the end is in sight.

The time really should fly from now until when we start getting pictures and when we travel as the kids are gearing up for Halloween, then we travel to Indy for Thanksgiving, and finally Christmas... busy busy